It’s 3.45 AM ET. Whatever, whenever I publish this entry will have taken 40 minutes because that’s about give-take the length before I reach my destination.
I know for every deep thinker there’s a shallow one. For every talkative person there’s a great listener. For eloquence there’s conciseness. But for every one who’s stuck between action and reflection (refl-action?), there’s an escape known as the ask-yourself-why-and-respond. Too few of us do not dig for the “why” of our lives. Guys, for those who are single and seeking for a wife, I recommend you to delete the “fe” first and partner up with the “wi” ASAP. We habitualized the 1-2 combo, the jab-uppercut, and we neglect understanding.. reachingg for “why” our thoughts & actions recur year after year, sometimes decade over decade. We throw things at the wall. We answer the question: “What made you throw the pen?” with a simple, “Because I was mad.”
“What made you mad?”
“Jerry said I was dumb.”
“How does throwing a pen make you feel?”
“Good and relieved.”
“Throwing a fit doesn’t solve your anger. Jerry might do it again.”
Think, act, think, act. What are we teaching ourselves? At this point we do not touch the root of the soul, we consider sensitivity and turn our eyes away from who’s seated on the heart’s throne.
Control, power hunger, inadequacy complex. Who wants to go mining? The heart is a deep well, and a man of understanding draws it out. That Proverb wrecked me the first time. It wrecked me the second time. The third time, the fourth time. A deep well.
I am perplexed, agitated, wistful, and shaky. Contentment: heart issue. The only consistent relationship is my time spent with Christ Jesus. But … why.
If you’re still reading, can I ask you for a favor? Would you pray for me?
I have …nothing. I have …everything.
Once again I will be preaching the gospel of Jesus my Lord and Savior. I want to ask myself: how have I been this … totally depraved, sinful yet forgiven? How so unlovable, yet He calls me son, my friend?
For every powerful speaker, there’s a receptive audience. For everyone with a sharp memory, there’s a forgetful friend. Now.. for every slithering tongue, there’s a truth teller. The temptation for the liar is to choose honesty. The temptation for the tell-all-guy is tempted to deceive. God doesn’t lie. It’s not who He is, it’s not in Him. Nonbelievers suppress the fact that Jesus saves. He does though.
The wages of sin is death, and Jesus paid every last penny..
He really, truthfully, honestly, did. I know because right now …
I have nothing left.. which means only one thing.. he has everything right.