So what if all the team owners in my League are complaining?

My commissioner reconfirmed that I’m getting banned for eternity if I don’t make the FF Postseason this year.

“My trades are too sporadic,” they cry. I do something blameless and Pontius Pilate stays fresh by washing his hands. !?Word?!

When Pilate saw that he was accomplishing nothing, but rather that a riot was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd, saying, “I am innocent of this Man’s blood; see to that yourselves.” – NASB, Matt. 27:24

No I’m not Jesus, but please let me walk my own plank. Shit – this could be my stairway to heaven for all you naysayers know.

They’re angry, duh. Who wouldn’t be … in hindsight?

Honestly though, if I’m sitting here with a 6-0 record (not 1-5), these people would still bemoan, “How the hell is ‘DP’ 6-0? OMG, now he thinks he knows more about football than the rest of us.”

But I don’t. I’ve told my commissioner that I despise FF prior to start of the season. I didn’t want to play, I thought it’d be a waste of cash, money I don’t have (yet). But he convinced me, and now I’m trying to turn things around, and now the cynical vultures criticize my moves. Why? I’m not scheming – that’s a promise. Daniel Park is trying to win six straight and make the postseason. That requires bold transactions.

Jack of All Trades

After trenchant deliberation and prayer, I accepted Andy’s trade offer.

Parks was sending me two “questionable” wide receivers (Williams+Johnson), the league’s best back (AP), Joseph Randle (who will spell Murray until he returns) and a non-threat wide receiver, Aaron Dobson.

Here’s why I did it:

1. Mike Williams, when healthy, is a dominant force for the Bucs offense. Tampa Bay is gradually ascending out of their ditch (Identity Crisis) with Mike Glennon behind center, and though Williams’ future matchups aren’t favorable, I could always start Denarius Moore without hesitation.

2.  Stevie Johnson, is similar to Williams. The Thad Lewis Experiment isn’t off to a bad start – they almost upended the Bengals without Johnson in last Sunday’s loss in overtime. I’m not thrilled about Johnson’s future matchups either – but it was the logical thing for me to do: steal #1 and #2 in a package deal.

3. AP / Joseph Randle for the price of one (Giovani Bernard) was an easy sendoff for me. Parks and I discussed how AP could experience a downswing due to the turbulence that he’s experiencing in his personal life. His two-year-old son passed away, and no father should bury their own child. The deciding factor in this acquisition wasn’t about the star running back’s potential depression, but Giovani Bernard’s future (@DET, NYJ, @MIA, @BAL, CLE, @SD and IND). I took into account that BJGE will share the load as the season unravels.

I am well aware that DeMarco’s return means saying farewell to Randle, but at least for now I’m less burdened with any of my “starting” running backs sharing carries with their backups. Hence the Fred Jackson release. To cut my stress in half again, I shipped F-Jax (who shares with C.J. Spiller) over to Parks so he could deal with it. Barring any setbacks or personal motives or freak injuries, Lacy, AP, and Randle won’t share the rock for a while. #CrossingFingersNothingHappensToAdrianPeterson

4. Yes, I sent Cruz and Calvin. Yes, I see the potential. But, take a look at Park’s team. Torrey Smith, Brandon Gibson, Tim Wright are weak plugs to fill in the gaps. Even Matt Ryan, his lone QB, is in a dire situation with only Tony Gonzalez and Harry Douglas to throw to.

This trade didn’t help his team at all, no where close to how you exaggerating drama queens are making of it. 

You do know that Roddy White is hurt, right?

My Team's New Look

The spit and rotten tomatoes are inevitable, people. I made this trade thanks to something we call “foresight.” The prescience, and not the present.

Definition of Prescience

#YouDoYouIWillDoMe

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4 thoughts on “Pulling an upset, even against your friends, requires insanity and confidence: life of Yahoo’s unluckiest fantasy football owner Episode 8

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