life madness

march madness? nahhhh.

Lrd, whtevr You’re preparng me 4, there’s one, and only one, way, truth, life, to find out.

Advertisements

ihop(e) 247

five days ago sunday, i woke up at 7:30 a.m., washed up, got ready by 8 something, stopped by the sunoco, purchased breath mints, gum, and a red bull, chugged it down in the car, and checked in to church just in time for pre-service prayer.

after service, we went to danji to dine with a couple of newcomers. interesting. we had to get back to church by 2 for our monthly staff meeting, which ended at 3:45, and time flapped by, because it was 4:45 and i was ordering off taco bell’s dollar menu. it was on the way to pastor daniel’s house, for our 5:00 pm cg leaders’ meeting.

with dinner, the night ended at 10. instead of going home i drove to centreville ihop, to finish up two papers. sense of urgency was at an all-time high, since the nearly-finished one was due on monday and the not-evens-started paper was due monday evening.

paper 1: done by a little after one. paper 2, i died. i ordered a chicken sandwich and five pitchers of coffee (it’s bottomless, chill).

i left for early morning service (5:30 AM). i got to the sanctuary, took my contacts off, closed my eyes, and listened.. to the korean that i barely understood. but the pastor preaching was crying.

he had announced the death of our emeritus pastor, reverend won sang lee, at 5:27 a.m., officially. i couldn’t believe it. i didn’t believe it.

i was mentally drained.

after service i laid on a couch for 30 minutes. i was assigned to bring the table from the well to centreville library by 7:00 a.m., for centreville morning outreach.

24 hours had passed. i then left back for church to finish paper #2. i did. it took too long. i couldn’t focus. it was a monday. i finished the paper yeah, met up paul for dinner at vit goel. we talked until i had to leave for class. i was so mentally drained that i missed two exits off 495. i had coffee, too.

i get to class 10 minutes late; during the first break i walked up to turn in my paper. everyone’s wondering why, because it’s due next week. sweet. turn the cheek of my humiliation. no worries. i turn it in anyway and ask him if he can revise it. he says sure, come any time you can.

i’m in bed by 10:30 p.m., on a monday.

fast forward, today’s friday, 1:40 a.m., and i’m at ihop again. tomorrow’s going to be a lonnnng day. look on the bright side.

It gets better?

When I was in middle school, the high schoolers stressed over college applications.

When I made it to high school, the older ones trembled out of exhilaration with concerns about the real world.

When I enrolled at VCU, the young professionals lamented over bills and made questionable purchases.

And now that I am 27, in the big leagues, in bed on a Sunday evening, I’m perplexed by it all. I’m trying to figure out if I mistakenly took their word for it.

If I could go back to 2000, I would ask Jordan on a date (and get rejected). I regret chickening out.

Hey, do you believe that a single flap of a butterfly’s wings could change the ocean’s current? It both frightens and inspires me to know that a moment in history – a spoken word or action taken – could change the course of another individual’s life.

Be careful of what you tell someone.

Make sure you think before you speak.

… that leads me to think that everything I’ve gone through, what I’m undergoing now, may have been the result of the nuanced, delicate flaps of people’s tongues and gestures.

I know that won’t make sense to others; too many men and women have advised me over the years. Who I am now is obviously a culmination of encouragement, discouragement, and narratives. Pair those with my personal experiences.

Well, the point is this: to try and not make sense of it. My future stays constantly uncertain. I get it. My destination is a censored bleep on a show more unpredictable than Jerry Springer. Roger that. Why bother to guess what happens next?

Regardless if it gets better or not — honestly — I don’t care. If that’s what I’m working hard for, fine, so be it.

I’m praying He sends me someone who truly understands this principle, one who loves and accepts me for me, has confidence in my insufficiencies, and believes truly that God is the end-all, be-all, in the long haul.  this, my friends, is what’s been on my heart as of late.

Proposing to someone with motives to benefit yourself is not only ill-advised, but detrimental to your spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical condition.

Especially if that person says, “Yes,” off impulse.

You’re far too kind 12

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God Philippians 4:6

Who knows exactly when we met, as long as our first encounter budded into a friendship burgeoning with laughter and watered by tears. For those moments that we shared I am humbly grateful.

It’s ice raining in Richmond and my thoughts are frozen.

What are you doing? How is it in Oregon?

We don’t talk as often as I’d like, no … but I know.

So why are you on this list? Please. You turned out to be one of my closest friends in RVA over a two-year span. This radical pairing launched in early 2013, when we both worked our first Zero Gravity Basketball event and ha, boy am I glad that you recruited me for the job.

I am thankful for the times that you housed me. You entrusted me with your apartment key for a few days while you left to stay at your parents’. You’ve entrusted me to walk in and out of your place with no splintering doubt that I was holding a malicious intentions. You confided in me with things not often told to people. I learned much more from you than you did from me, believe it or not. Staying at your place last summer initiated me to shave off 20 pounds. From staying at your place last summer, your $60 voucher for City Diner fed me for a week and a half.

I sincerely enjoyed taking those random walks downtown, even the time we were caught by the police slipping out of the Governor’s gates. We were innocent but our photographic head shots were taken anyway.

You’re a good juggler; you’re easily entertained. I wish you the super best, brother, hope our ends meet in the future. Study hard and stay strong, mentally, over there. If you ever do decide to return, make sure you come back a better person.

TYDPV!

Week 2 Predictions: Panthers, Lions or Bears and 49ers? Marquee matchups

I went 9-7 last week. That was spellbinding – considering I was 1-5 before the Jets sealed the deal to ignite my win streak.

Without introduction, my Week 2 Picks:

STEELERS 06 — 26 RAVENS
The emotional week has taken its toll on the Ravens and it will show in tonight’s performance. A loss would exacerbate the negative attention surrounding a team that has been dealing with adversity since the start of the offseason. But a loss could, however, provides a spark in the locker room and the Ravens punish their next opponent, the Cleveland Browns.
Prediction: STEELERS 27 Ravens 17

DOLPHINS AT BILLS

Both AFC East teams are coming off impressive wins. The Bills de-clawed the Bears while the Dolphins confiscated the Patriots’ weapons. Neither want to play each other coming off of that high, but the Bills will make sure that the salty waters they send the Dolphins to will be saltier after they win. #MIAvsBUF

Dolphins 17 BILLS 23

JAGUARS AT REDSKINS

The Jacksonville Jaguars must not lose to the Redskins if they want to save face. I’m thinking that Washington gets swept by every team in the AFC South, so there’s a lot on the Jags’ plate. Robert Griffin III wants to prove that he still has that rookie magic — he doesn’t.

JAGUARS 20 Redskins 19

COWBOYS AT TITANS

The ‘Boys hot-air balloons were deflated last week against a 49ers team that didn’t have much air about them heading into Dallas. The Titans terrified me so bad that I had nightmares all week.

Cowboys 18 TITANS 24

CARDINALS AT GIANTS

The Cardinals won’t force the ball to Larry Fitz. The Giants are unstable and I’m almost going to convince myself that they’re going to finish 9-7 after going 3-6. Man. I can’t. …

CARDINALS 30 Giants 17

PATRIOTS AT VIKINGS

Mike Zimmer, when with the Bengals, sacked Tom Brady four times last year. Matt Cassel has waited for this day since he warmed the bench for his superstar quarterback. The reason that the Vikings don’t win this game is because they fall into a funk late in the second half. Tom Brady doesn’t down two in a row, not this early in the night.

PATRIOTS 38 Vikings 28

SAINTS AT BROWNS

The Saints and Drew Brees are pissed. Anger doesn’t help and the Browns abscond their own city with a last-second touchdown. The heavy favorite to win the NFC South make their climb even more challenging. But they thrive off of that “against the world” mentality, anyway.

Saints 21 BROWNS 27

FALCONS AT BENGALS 

This game makes my stomach hurt. The Falcons pulled a rabbit out of a hat last week, so did the Bengals. This is a toss up for two teams that were gimmicks seven days ago. Home team wins.

Falcons 27 BENGALS 30

LIONS AT PANTHERS

The Lions have a better backfield than Carolina’s.

LIONS 30 Panthers 17

RAMS AT BUCCANEERS

The Rams and Buccaneers will play two-hand-touch today.

Rams 14 BUCS 17 (OT) 

SEAHAWKS AT CHARGERS 

The Chargers aren’t ready to handle their first win, says the Seahawks.

SEAHAWKS 31 Chargers 18

TEXANS AT RAIDERS

Texans know better not to go to Oakland and win. The Raiders have the talent to take their visitors and toss them into the Pacific.

Texans 21 RAIDERS 28

JETS AT PACKERS

The Packers are flustered and cannot stomach two losses back-to-back. Sorry, Jets fans.

Jets 19 PACKERS 31

CHIEFS AT BRONCOS

Game is in Denver and the Chiefs don’t have the firepower to stop Julius Thomas, whereas the Broncos have the defense to stop Jamaal Charles and Dwayne Bowe.

Chiefs 17 BRONCOS 38

BEARS AT 49ERS 

Best game of the week? Maybe, depending on your preference. Personally I like Panther meat and Lion meat.

Bears 14 49ERS 21

EAGLES AT COLTS

Eagles win their second game in a row. Colts go 0-2 and sit behind the Jaguars’ big heads in the passenger seat. Titan driving.

EAGLES 28 Colts 24

Redskins Training Camp Live

Bon Secours Training Center in Richmond, Virginia

8:04 AM ET

There’s a calm breeze fighting to cool off the thousands of Patriots and Redskins fans gathered here on this muggy Monday morning.

Anticipations are supreme as excited fans stare at the practice field for the legendary Tom Brady and Washington’s third-year face of the franchise, Robert Griffin III.

Fans heckle and kill the buzz of this cheerful Cowboys fan walking the concourse of humiliation to find his seat. Good luck.

Players are making their way out 12 minutes prior to the official start time for practice (8:35 AMT ET).

Tom Brady spotted.

Both teams are out on the field. Patriot quarterbacks are warming up their arms. Griffin III loafing around. He jogs over to where the Patriots are stretching and shakes Josh Boyce’s hand.

A toddler in Patriots gear next to me is wailing … or cheering for Brady.

Redskins defense donning burgundy jerseys. Offense in white. Quarterbacks in red.

Kai Forbath and rookie Zach Hocker taking turns kicking field goals … from the opposition’s 35-yard line.

Andre Roberts takes the opening kick off to the house; nobody pursues the ball carrier after the whistle blows.

Chris Thompson returns kick offs, fast but again, everyone is going through the motions.

Nick Williams takes a few swings returning.

After special teams workout, both teams disperse and the Patriots defense start with feet drills. They wrap up after they go in and out of the half-round bags. Level of intensity is very high. Redskins are still standing around.

Patriots offense are doing lunges on the far end of the field.

Four minutes later, movement! Redskins defensive backs do lateral and backpedaling drills. #workthosefeet

Linebackers are back and forth using cones and finishing by catching passes. Brian Orakpo, Ryan Kerrigan, Gabe Miller, Adrian Robinson, Everette Brown, and Trent Murphy is a solid linebacking corps in my book. Now they’re doing stack and shed drills.

Darryl Sharpton, Keenan Robinson, Will Compton, Perry Riley Jr., Akeem Jordan, Jeremy Kimbrough, Adam Hayward and Rob Jackson are on another section of the field, doing backpedaling and ballhawking drills. Foot work+Reaction Time are integral factors in a linebacking corps’ success.

I realize I could be Deangelo Hall. He looks like an overgrown 13-year-old.

Wide receivers are aplenty, 11, enough to create a soccer team.

Aldrick Robinson has a tough pill to swallow.

I really don’t like Griffin III’s drop back.

Receivers run routes both ways. Hitches, slants, comebacks and fades. Comebacks were thrown from the shotgun formation. Fades were thrown by Griffin III, Colt McCoy and Kirk Cousins from under center.

Griffin III hits Pierre Garcon along the rail. I’m jealous of that spiral and touch.

DeSean Jackson beats Darrelle Revis on a comeback pattern, aggressive and breaks on the ball.

Kirk Cousins throws the first pick of the day. Tavon Wilson on Lee Doss.

Jordan Reed on an out pattern, great pass+catch.

Two incomplete passes in series from Griffin III.

Revis has Jackson’s number. DJax can’t shake him off.

Garcon owns Brandon Browner on a slant pattern.

Santana Moss gets owned by Devin McCourty.

Some guy from the crowd with the “they’ll keep him as a mentor” proclamation. Never heard that one before. …

A. Robinson fries defensive back No. 27 T. Wilson, courtesy of Kaptain Cousins.

Griffin’s passes are sailing high, #PERTURBED.

Lee Doss beats rookie defensive back Justin Green–great ball placement by Kirk Cousins.

11 on 11 dreills. morris takes first carry for a gain of six.

On the flip side:

Brady heaves a perfect pass to a wide open receiver. Who I can’t really see from here but the lesson to be learned here is that the Redskins may blow their assignment.

Griffin III’s pass attempt to DJax sails right … Excellent coverage by Revis. Redskins offensive line is struggling to create holes for Alfred Morris.

Defensively the Patriots let a few deep balls get by them. Robinson burned the secondary for a score. …

The Pats’ O looked sharp? Or are the Redskins O still rusty?

Special teams unit working on squib kicks and surprise onside kick offs. too necessary. Not.

7-7 drills:

1. DJax vs Revis, Jax short hitch route complete.

2. Moss in the slot runs an inside drag — pass complete.

Kind man says “will you sit down if I give you a chair?

I turn around and there’s at least 40 people standing behind me.

Ted Bolser, Niles Paul both running with the 2s. Led by Kirk Cousins.

RGIII holds ball too long. Completes pass to Garcon on a broken play.

Jordan Reed hauls in a poorly placed ball (behind him).

Learn baby learn…

1st: Morris, Jackson, Griffin III, Reed, Logan Paulsen

2s: Andre Roberts, Ryan Grant, Reed, Moss

Colt McCoy completes a nice pass to Niles Paul — takes 3 seconds to get the ball out of his hands.

McCoy pumps right, double guesses himself and the pass sails. … much better option than backups Rex Grossman and Pat White though from 2013.

11 on 11:

1st pass too high. Brady’s in, 2nd pass to Julian Edelman on an inside drag route. Huge gain. 3rd pass complete to No. 80 Danny Amendola wide open in the flat. 4th pass complete to Edelman again, gets a nice pop from safety Ryan Clark. Fifth completion same pass complete this time to the left side. 5/6 on the opening drive.

Ryan Mallett … Derrick Johnson (rookie) burns Phillip Thomas on an out pattern. Rookie Justin Jones is wide open on a post route and connects between the safeties. Stevan Ridley blazes past the defense gain of 17.

Brady: Kenbrill Thompkins “beats” defense, wide open near the goal line. Brady floats one up for him but the defensive line stopped pursuit after Brady stepped up into the pocket. #PLAYitTHROUGH

Griffin III to Garcon, batted away by Darrelle Revis.

Roy Helu is in, while is trips left. … shotgun Griffin III, Roberts/DJax on his right. … pass complete to Reed on the weak side.

Redskins offense marches down field. Revis locks up Jackson. Revis locks up Garcon. Staring down Griffin III’s drop backs. … so far so OK.

Pass to Reed on a corner route perfect between Revis. Revis on left side.

Bon Secours Training Center

IMG_1317 IMG_1288 IMG_1289 IMG_1292 IMG_1293 IMG_1294

#REDSKINSTRAININGCAMP

The Washington Redskins gathered for the second time on Sunday for their 4 o’clock walkthroughs. Spectators oh’ed and ah’ed with each snagged, and dropped, pass.

The Redskins are getting better by the day! How they’ll fare this season is completely up to them.

Here are some pictures I took for Redskins fans, enjoy!

20140727-185256-67976247.jpg

20140727-185315-67995880.jpg

20140727-185314-67994328.jpg

20140727-185334-68014217.jpg

20140727-185337-68017749.jpg

20140727-221829-80309950.jpg

20140727-221831-80311502.jpg

20140727-221841-80321490.jpg

20140727-221839-80319914.jpg

20140727-221859-80339234.jpg

20140727-221900-80340709.jpg

20140727-221906-80346670.jpg

20140727-221908-80348935.jpg

Red Wine and Football: Problems with the NFL’s Image

The NFL needs auditing. Not the financial kind, but a careful check or review of their moral code, their so-called shield of integrity. A reality check.

Bud Light, the official beer of the NFL. “Cold Hard Facts”, brought to you by Coors Light brew. The League has championed the commercialization of alcoholic beverages, loosely supporting their fans to drink every Thursday evening, all day Sunday, and Monday nights. (And sadly, there have been conversations fluttering around about how Commissioner Roger Goodell may add more days to the NFL calendar.)

As if three days isn’t enough. As if our football-fiending fans don’t subconsciously think about purchasing a 24-case of Pabst Blue Ribbon at the grocery store when they originally came for nachos, dip and sodas.

Red wine is to steak, as football is (becoming) to alcohol. Passion and adrenaline for the game falsely intensifies with the Jameson fans chug after every completion.

Former NFL wide receiver Donte Stallworth drives drunk and on the way home, kills a 58-year-old construction worker. Facing 15 years in jail, if convicted, the then-Browns’ wideout posts $200,000 bail, admits fault, appears sorrowful, apologizes, and is sentenced to a laughable 30 days in jail and a one-year suspension from our wonderful League.

Of course, to us regular humans, that sort of miracle is winning the Super Bowl … of Life. Imagine the bitterness that ensued. Mario Reyes’ family must despise America’s favorite sport; to them, Goodell is Badell.

Blowing a .126 is not a joke, not even on April Fool’s Day. But that’s what Stallworth did, blowing the money ($35 mil/7 years) he made. …sitting on the bench with an injury in 2008.

Cue in Michael Vick’s case. His name blows more windchimes in the NFL community; after all, Vick did grace the Madden cover not once, but twice in his lifetime. He was charged for dogfighting, animal abuse, unlawful gambling and drugs, and served 23 months in jail, followed by three more years of probation. Dogfighting-boys and girls-don’t get caught up. Consuming yummy mixed drinks (Redbull, lime and Grey Goose), on the contrary is okay, kids.

Wait, who’s coming with me to the next Kenny Chesney concert? Well, we should all try to go back stage and yell derogatory, racist remarks at the bouncer. Trust me, we’re in ‘Good’s’ hands. We are white, so is he. Actually, let’s write our drafts right now before we head out. Twitter, the best outlet to release our remorseful statements. Don’t worry, I’ll attend a few counseling sessions, pay a fine, get in a fight with Cary Williams. The NFL will ban the “N” word, and then I, Riley Cooper, will sign a $25 million contract with the Philadelphia Eagles. An untamed tongue is better than inebriating myself and running someone over trying to catch the bus.

Or killing a teammate.

Former Dallas Cowboys Josh Brent’s blood alcohol content was registered at .18, (.044 greater than Stallworth’s), when he killed his close friend and teammate Jerry Brown. Convicted of intoxication manslaughter, Brent was fined a babyish sum of $10,000, served 180 days in jail and 10 years of probation–meaning he has to pass all of his urine tests and keep a spotless recored until he turns 35.

The Browns’ household must despise the “F” word. (Footbal.)

Now cue in DeSean Jackson, the City of Brotherly Love’s ‘gangster’. Media has a strategic way of ruining reputations. Did you know? DJax’s organization, the DeSean Jackson Foundation, was founded to raise awareness on Pancreatic Cancer. The foundation provides healthcare screening to undeserved populations in the community. But the football player was released by the Eagles, who were said to have been fearful of his ties with gangs in the past.

Right….Former Eagles head coach Andy Reid brought in Vick to bolster an offense that sputtered behind Kevin Kolb and Donovan McNabb.

Second-year head coach Chip Kelly slices his deepest threat, Jackson, off the roster after re-signing Jeremy Maclin and Cooper. Cat got your tongue is more like an eagle’s talon ripped mine.

The wise say it’s best to think before you speak. I’m speechless. The NFL seriously needs to reevaluate their actions and think about the lives that their actions are affecting, especially how they’re allowing the next generation of fans to believe that it’s better to get away with a DUI and murder than organizing rings to watch pit bulls kill each other, use racist remarks and befriending the “wrong crowd.”

If goalpost-dunking is wrong, so is getting hammered on Sundays. Food for thought: If a black football player verbally shredded a white citizen, the world would squeal.

What, or who, is the NFL shield truly protecting?

Feel free to comment.

NFL, check yourselves before you wreck yourselves,

Love,
Daniel

@imdperent
@nflprayers

Gripping Images on the NY Metro

Thank you, Boredom, for inspiring me to do this.

20140320-000338.jpg

Paper in his right hand, pole in his left.

20140320-000350.jpg

The watch on his wrist says it all.

20140320-000358.jpg

I call that the Wood Instrument Grip.

20140320-000407.jpg

Two grips in this scene. The hand in the back looks a little creepy.

20140320-000416.jpg

Beautiful elegant fingers of. … my brother’s.

20140320-000424.jpg

One’s playing games, the other’s reading.

20140320-000436.jpg

Smartphones are taking over the world one tap at a time.

20140320-000450.jpg

You can tell by his relaxed knuckles he’s not holding on too tight.

20140320-000459.jpg

Two strangers. One pole.

20140320-000506.jpg

And the Loosest Grip Award goes to…

20140320-000513.jpg

Pink iPhone case. Pink nails. Makes sense.

20140320-000524.jpg

How does one read on a shaky, obnoxious metro bus?

20140320-000532.jpg

Mr. Tattoo wrist band has huge knucks.

20140320-000539.jpg

Dear Light Bulb, please don’t burn his hand…

20140320-000545.jpg

Idle hands are the devil’s playground.

A trip to New York is always a good one.

13 Types of Servers Working at Your Favorite Restaurants

I can honestly say that I learned more from my coworkers than my guests.

Here’s why. …

1. The College Graduate
When I was still in high school, I looked up to you. You were here, grinding your tail off, saving up and paying back your school loans (noble and respectable). The Liberal Arts or Psychology degree may have utterly failed you, but hey, look on the bright side.

Wait… You’re how old?

2. Mr/s. Professional
Your work uniform sits in the trunk, dry cleaned and ironed. You speed on over after you get off your 9-5 shift. Extra cash doesn’t hurt, but aren’t you tired?!

3. Mr/s. Smoke-too-much
Smoke: cigarettes, weed. I once worked with a girl who drank wine and smoked for breakfast. She extolled that it helped her stay awake. An excellent server, her communication skills were off the charts (said the bud helped), and yet … she struggled with short-term memory loss. (Of course she was fired.)

4. Mr/s. In the Weeds
Managers must do a better job emphasizing “high volume, fast-paced restaurant” during the interview process. There’s a guy (or gal) that can’t follow the current and it usually affects the entire wait staff. Basically the servers with the sincerest personalities are found in the weeds, because they’re in the back of the house mixing the perfect Shirley Temple that takes an extra 18.42 seconds off the clock. Hint: Guests, bring your own bottle of grenadine and order a Sprite, please (and thank you).

5. Mr/s. Trying to Help the World
If you don’t have tables, I’d understand but homie/honey, your six-top section is full. Either they’re your regulars, or you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Don’t get me wrong – some of these servers are so awesome at what they do, they can’t help it but to assist you. Ask them to refill your empty glasses.

6. Mr/s. Schemer
Beware of these wolves, argh. They feel the vibration in their pants and ask you to watch their section so … they can hide in the bathroom and text their friends. They secretly pay the host/hostess extra cash to ensure themselves 5-6 tops in their sections all night.

7. Mr/s. Can’t Save a Dime
There’s always one. Or two. These servers cash out with $200 at the end of the night and … dump it at the local bar.

8. Mr/s. Textbook
“Good evening, my name is ____, welcome to ____, is this your first time dining here with us?”

“It is? Welcome! Let me tell you a little about our menu…”

These spiels are rehearsed from Day 1. If you haven’t snapped out of Robot Land yet, hurry.

9. Mr/s. Nervous Wreck
Your trembling voice gives it away. It’s OK, they understand it’s your first job. Heck, sometimes that timidness pulls in more tips. Try it (on purpose.)

9. Mr/s. Overconfident
“I don’t need to write anything down because I know that you want your steak cooked medium-rare, no mashed potatoes, sub-carrots, extra dressing, no ranch, sub-French, cheese on the side, sub-Parm, and the soup with your meal.”

Then you get to the computer and you’re like … Did he want the asparagus?!?!?!?!

10. Mr/s. Hilarious
“Rebuttals” is the name of the game, and if this type of server can make you laugh, appreciate it all the more. They could care less about their tip percentages; they just want to make sure you have a fun night.

11. Mr/s. One More Round?
We’re trained to “read our tables.” Some do it better than others. Watch out for these lame-os, and make sure they’re not getting carried away with that pesky, “one more beer sir/glass of wine ma’am?”

12. Mr/s. Complain All Day
This is the most annoying type of server. S/he is sobbing or throwing a pity party — cursing the “Restaurant gods” for the lousy tip Table 8 left behind.
“Why dine in at a place their budgets can barely afford?!” s/he asks, crying. There’s no law to tipping.

13. Mr/s. Awesome
After dropping off the check, these amazing butte balls let their guests know hey, it was my pleasure serving you — and if you enjoyed me bringing your food and drinks, feel free and request me the next time you dine in.

They’ll most likely request you again. And that… is how you build regulars.

Comment below with your best experiences!

THREE BOLD PREDICTIONS: COWBOYS at REDSKINS

RGIII is not under center. A winning result for the ‘Boys does not secure them a playoff spot.

If Dallas does fall, the Philadelphia Eagles would need to beat/tie Chicago at the Linc. And if both NFC East teams lose (no shock there), then the Eagles will travel to Texas, to face America’s Team for the division’s title.

So let’s not compare this game to last season’s finale, when the red-hot Redskins picked off Tony Romo thrice in December and knocked them off the track to Disney.

Bold Prediction One: Coach Mike Shanahan Wants to Win Out, and Will

The Redskins turned over a new leaf last week (if new leaf is a football), handing backup sophomore quarterback Kirk Cousins starting duties for the second time in his career.

Cousins provided the missing spark for the Redskins offense, throwing 3 touchdowns, 2 interceptions, and in the first half alone, 248 yards (381 total). Still his efforts fell short – literally by two yards – after Coach Shanahan decided to avoid overtime and go for two.

Oh and by the way, the 248 passing yards in the first half by Cousins was 1.6 yards more than RGIII’s game average this season (246.4). Red-iculous.

Bolder Prediction Two: Kirk Cousins Will Outplay Tony Romo, Because of Dallas’ Abomination on Defense

Scroll down to the bottom of this list and you will find,

The Dallas Cowboys are last in line.

No team does it better, no matter how hard they’d try

To blow a first-half, 23-point lead against the Packers, Dallas fans at home did cry

I don’t blame Tony Romo for changing the play. It’s not his fault that Jordy Nelson, Jarrett Boykin, Andrew Quarles, and James Jones consistently blew past everyone (who’s not a defensive lineman) on Dallas.

Let me know if I’m getting too carried away. I’m not saying that I’m espoused to Cousins just yet (get your head out of the gutter), but the fashion that he surgerized the Falcons defense was enough to quickly pepper-spray most of my doubts about how he’d perform.

Brian Orakpo and Ryan Kerrigan should feast. … Jason Hatcher and George Selvie should feast. … Whoever has the last bite takes the cake.

Tony Romo PROJECTED Stats: 25/ 37, 256 passing yards, 2 TD, 1 INT, Sacked twice, 10 rushing yards, 0 fumbles

Kirk Cousins PROJECTED Stats: 30/38, 304 passing yards, 3 TD, 1 INT, Sacked three times, -3 rushing yards, 0 fumbles

BOLDEST Prediction Three: The Redskins Roar to Bittersweet Victory

Perennial inside linebacker London “The General” Fletcher is 99 percent certain he’ll retire after this season. The humble Ironman has started 239 games (254 total), making his first-string debut as a Ram in December 27, 1998 against the 49ers.

For the God-fearing linebacker, a victory in Landover, Maryland against his franchise’s storied rival is more than a befitting way to finish his 16-year career. It’s perfect.

Washington Redskins 30, Dallas Cowboys 27

Pulling an upset, even against your friends, requires insanity and confidence: life of Yahoo’s unluckiest fantasy football owner Episode 8

So what if all the team owners in my League are complaining?

My commissioner reconfirmed that I’m getting banned for eternity if I don’t make the FF Postseason this year.

“My trades are too sporadic,” they cry. I do something blameless and Pontius Pilate stays fresh by washing his hands. !?Word?!

When Pilate saw that he was accomplishing nothing, but rather that a riot was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd, saying, “I am innocent of this Man’s blood; see to that yourselves.” – NASB, Matt. 27:24

No I’m not Jesus, but please let me walk my own plank.  This could be my stairway to heaven for all you naysayers know.

They’re angry, duh. Who wouldn’t be … in hindsight?

Honestly though, if I’m sitting here with a 6-0 record (not 1-5), these people would still bemoan, “How the hell is ‘DP’ 6-0? OMG, now he thinks he knows more about football than the rest of us.”

But I don’t. I’ve told my commissioner that I despise FF prior to start of the season. I didn’t want to play, I thought it’d be a waste of cash, money I don’t have (yet). But he convinced me, and now I’m trying to turn things around, and now the cynical vultures criticize my moves. Why? I’m not scheming – that’s a promise. Daniel Park is trying to win six straight and make the postseason. That requires bold transactions.

Jack of All Trades

After trenchant deliberation and prayer, I accepted Andy’s trade offer.

Parks was sending me two “questionable” wide receivers (Williams+Johnson), the league’s best back (AP), Joseph Randle (who will spell Murray until he returns) and a non-threat wide receiver, Aaron Dobson.

Here’s why I did it:

1. Mike Williams, when healthy, is a dominant force for the Bucs offense. Tampa Bay is gradually ascending out of their ditch (Identity Crisis) with Mike Glennon behind center, and though Williams’ future matchups aren’t favorable, I could always start Denarius Moore without hesitation.

2.  Stevie Johnson, is similar to Williams. The Thad Lewis Experiment isn’t off to a bad start – they almost upended the Bengals without Johnson in last Sunday’s loss in overtime. I’m not thrilled about Johnson’s future matchups either – but it was the logical thing for me to do: steal #1 and #2 in a package deal.

3. AP / Joseph Randle for the price of one (Giovani Bernard) was an easy sendoff for me. Parks and I discussed how AP could experience a downswing due to the turbulence that he’s experiencing in his personal life. His two-year-old son passed away, and no father should bury their own child. The deciding factor in this acquisition wasn’t about the star running back’s potential depression, but Giovani Bernard’s future (@DET, NYJ, @MIA, @BAL, CLE, @SD and IND). I took into account that BJGE will share the load as the season unravels.

I am well aware that DeMarco’s return means saying farewell to Randle, but at least for now I’m less burdened with any of my “starting” running backs sharing carries with their backups. Hence the Fred Jackson release. To cut my stress in half again, I shipped F-Jax (who shares with C.J. Spiller) over to Parks so he could deal with it. Barring any setbacks or personal motives or freak injuries, Lacy, AP, and Randle won’t share the rock for a while. #CrossingFingersNothingHappensToAdrianPeterson

4. Yes, I sent Cruz and Calvin. Yes, I see the potential. But, take a look at Park’s team. Torrey Smith, Brandon Gibson, Tim Wright are weak plugs to fill in the gaps. Even Matt Ryan, his lone QB, is in a dire situation with only Tony Gonzalez and Harry Douglas to throw to.

This trade didn’t help his team at all, no where close to how you exaggerating drama queens are making of it. 

You do know that Roddy White is hurt, right?

My Team's New Look

The spit and rotten tomatoes are inevitable, people. I made this trade thanks to something we call “foresight.” The prescience, and not the present.

Definition of Prescience

#YouDoYouIWillDoMe

The nightmare begins: life of Yahoo’s unluckiest fantasy owner Episode 3

0-2

0-2

I trust in Russell Wilson (13.98) to outperform Alex Smith (24.22) in Dallas.

Right, of course starting Wilson and San Francisco Defense counterbalances each other you idiot.

😦

Nobody makes me cry more than Daniel Park does.

I start Eddie Lacy with high hopes. He leaves the game with a concussion.

Giovani Bernard is on the bench with 20.35 points vs. the Steelers, and I’m thinking … didn’t the Steelers shutout Chris Johnson Week 1 (25 carries, 70 yards)?

F-Jax runs for days against the Panthers (16.15). Thanks, C.J. Spiller, I thought you were getting the rock until “he throws up.”

Le sigh, Lance Moore’s wrist isn’t 100 percent healthy and now I can care less about points-per-reception.

I power-bomb Pettigrew off my roster and ink Brent Celek . . . who then proceeds to do nothing (0 pts.)

Whoopdee-doo, awesome sum of 63.13 points.

Pop the champagne bottles!

Three cheers — for the lowest points scored among the others that week.

Hero-we go again, losing on Monday night: life of Yahoo’s unluckiest fantasy owner Episode 2

Sigh 0-1

Sigh 0-1

My mistakes:

1. Starting Zach Sudfeld (0 points) over Brandon Pettigrew (-.93). At least the Lions tight end had a chance and touched the ball.

2. Regretful that I drafted too many RBs: Eddie Lacy (14) and F-Jax (14) and Giovani (4) and D-Richardson (14.85)

Why my hopes are up:

1. Steve Smith contributes 12.6 and Wes Welker 19.49. What more could you ask for from Cam Newton and Peyton Manning?

2. I started Lance Moore over Miles Austin due to a gut-feeling.  I look forward to starting Austin Week 2.

Why I lose: 

1. Didn’t start Miles.

2. Zac Sudfeld stunk.

3. RGIII won the game for our commissioner on Monday night.

Le sigh, here we go again.

Yahoo Fantasy Football Mock Draft 2013

I have perfected my fantasy football drafting skills (for the upcoming season). Ah, that feeling.

With the ninth choice in the snake draft here are my results:

Round 1 (9) – Jamaal Charles (RB – KC)

The key to the FF draft is DON’T PANIC. EVER. You have a thousand players on the board, relax. Among the runningbacks Charles, Alfred Morris , Matt Forte, and CJ2K (the list goes on), the Chiefs (seemed) to have the easiest schedule. With new acquisition Head Coach Andy Reid, look for Alex Smith to check down his receiving options and dump it off to a wide open and super-quick Charles on his swing routes along the coast of the line of scrimmage. Rookie Eric Fisher (Central Michigan) is capable of playing multiple positions (guard, tackle) and is expected to make a huge impact on the offensive line that’ll protect former 49ers QB Alex Smith ahd open holes for Charles and McCluster.

Round 2 (16) – Maurice Jones-Drew (RB – JAC) 

I would’ve slapped myself in the face if I passed up MJD.  I’ve now two dynamic runningbacks on my team. MJD is durable and a workhorse, I expect him to bail Blaine Gabbert/Chad Henne when they’re struggling late in games. And don’t forget. Runningbacks that play in warm-weather games (Jacksonville, Fl) flourish.

Round 3 (33) – David Wilson (RB – NYG)

I crossed my fingers for Reggie Bush to stay afloat. Of course not. But for insurance reasons, I picked up an extra runningback that was a hybrid of MJD and Charles. Fortunately enough, Wilson called out, and I extended my hand … and clicked “Draft.”

Round 4 (40) Wes Welker (WR – DEN) 

Flip a coin: heads, Welker, tails Decker. In Denver, every one is a primary target for Sheriff Manning. It’s true, the gunslinger doesn’t favor anyone above the others, it sometimes appears that way. He may target a wideout more than the other, but that doesn’t always mean it’s a completion. Welker is a beast until proven otherwise – don’t doubt the wise man from the slot.

Round 5 (57) Anquan Boldin (WR – SF)

I’m comfortable with my three running backs. I learned a valuable lesson last year: don’t need more than three. I confess my biases. I love Boldin. He developed and gained the trust of Joe Flacco in the quarterback’s third year in Baltimore, and I believe with the wisdom and attained from experience (and a Super Bowl ring), the wide receiver will enhance Colin Kaepernick’s development in San Francisco.

Round 6 (64) Mike Wallace (WR – MIA)

Two possession receivers are enough for me. What must I do now? That’s right. Pick up the best deep threat out there on the board. That plays in warm weather (again with the sunny weathered teams). Call it love, call it lust, whatever you want. All I know is that Wallace may blow up out of the Miami water like a huge marlin (or dolphin) in 2013.

Round 7 (81) Michael Vick (QB – PHI)

My favorite team. Not my favorite quarterback. This new Chip Kelly thing excites me. He’s looked sharp in the three preseason games that they’ve won. Intrigue me more.

Round 8 (88) Zach Sudfield (TE – NE)

I don’t know about you but, is the sky blue? This pick had to be done this early.

Round 9 (105) Emmanuel Sanders (WR – PIT)

It only makes sense when Sanders proves his worth on the Steelers with 83 receptions and 1,198 yards. Until then, don’t question my logic.

Round 10 (112) Bernard Pierce (RB – BAL)

Flaccco is sick with the Super Bowl flu and the running game might cure the offense’s/QB’s hangover this season like a bowl of boiling pho’. Never tried Pho? You’re missing out. When Ray Rice sits, the Pierce leads. I like my backups…that backup superstars.

Aaron Dobson (129)

Philadelphia (136)

Dan Bailey (153)

Brandon Lafell (160)

Tyler Eifert (177)